


Let it Go

by astudyinperiwinkle



Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Character Study, Drabble, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-01
Updated: 2013-03-01
Packaged: 2017-12-04 00:22:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/704335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astudyinperiwinkle/pseuds/astudyinperiwinkle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki must have had a few thoughts tumbling through his mind before falling from the Bifrost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let it Go

It hurts. It must or else it’s as if it is not happening. How could they? How dare they? A thousand lies coiled on my tongue and not one could grant me solace this time. The deepest wound, a gash where once was a sense of belonging. Of love. What need have I for love? Rejected at birth, overlooked in childhood, betrayed as a man. Have I not done enough to earn what is so rightfully mine, overcome the trials they felt fit to put me through?

It was comfortable growing up knowing Thor and I were both born to be Kings. It was disappointing when adolescence robbed me of the hope to be his equal and realization set in that he would be the one to wear the crown. But I accepted it. He was so very much like Father, how could it be anyone else? Yet when it came to light I would never be King not because Thor was a more suitable choice but because I was, in essence, a war prize kept as a pawn for a future truce- because the parents who turned their backs on me were the All Father’s bitterest enemies- that was a pain beyond words.

For years they let me strive to be better than even I thought I could be. Brotherly competitions to teach teamwork and humility, and private tutelage to hone my magic, the one skill I could always hold above Thor, were all a facade. A monster wearing the skin of their people was what I was to them, a secret prisoner from a world despised, hidden in plain sight. They must have known they could not keep up the lie forever. So why was it when the house of cards they so carefully built and convinced the entire Kingdom to believe tumbled down, they wondered why I was angry?

Who cared for what I wanted from this life? What right did I have to dream of higher aspirations? Well, what right did _they_ have to offer _me_ forgiveness for attempting to just be what they always told me I could be? Of course. I was simply around to make my so-called brother be a better man. And to that end, I would do my utmost. If I had to tear down the entire Realm I would, because if he couldn’t overcome me, his _baby brother_ , to earn the throne, then I would take it from the ashes of his defeat and be the ruler he never could be.

But it still hurts. It must, because this is the last time I will regard them as family. If I stay, they would try and talk reason into me. Pity me. Salvage what they could of my shattered heart. However, if I leave them, if I let go and surrender myself to whatever oblivion lay beneath me, then the unanswered questions just might be enough to harden their hearts and souls against me, burn the sweet notions of affection and sentimentality from their minds.

Because I need them to hate me. It would make it so much easier to forget I love them.


End file.
